What would you do? by The Spiritual Princess Jayapalashri Anil

 What would you do? by The Spiritual Princess Jayapalashri Anil

As Kathy sat with her cup of tea, the words of her friends rang in her ears. She was stunned and taken aback by the questions which became a trigger for her. Tears pricked her eyes like pins, and her vision was blurry as she saw her reflection on the ornamented mirror across her chaise lounger. She tucked her feet under and covered herself with her red knitted shawl. As the rain tormented down she lit a candle and made herself comfortable. 

She closed her eyes to let the tears spill down her cheeks. She let it trickle as it fell onto her palms and she clenched the tear droplets. Her mind was chaotic with all kinds of thoughts moving in and out. Mozart was playing in the background the music she loved and would often listen to when she felt sad or feeling low. It helped her calm down and fill her heart with peace. 

Brute her ever-loyal dog was curled up next to her, eyes closed deep in sleep. She brought her well-manicured fingers and let her fingers play and ruffle Brute’s hair as he slept peacefully. Her mind wandered back to the question “ What would you do Kathy”? She let this question repeat time and again as the tears rolled down persistently complimenting the torment of rain,  neither was not showing any signs of slowing down. 

If only she had the maturity then she could have taken better choices and moved ahead with no regrets. Today her heart is filled with regret and guilt for she never once did take a step to voice her thoughts or opinions. She would often try to be a people pleaser which would lead to disagreements and disappointments easily. 

She clearly remembered the day where she gave up her dreams so that her son and sunshine would be able to live his dream and go on with his life. That memory has been chiselled so deep into her that it has created a huge emptiness and loss in her space. She let go of everything that she was for her child believing and trusting that he would be there for her when the time comes.

She was proud of him, she stood as a pillar of strength for him. Let him marry the girl of his choice and accept her as a beautiful angel into her space. Little did she know how things would change for the worse. A sob escaped her lips as she heard her son’s voice ringing in her ears  “It's my life and my space let me live how I want, please don't interfere”. 

She wondered what she did wrong and how things went sour in the relationship. Her son is the apple of her eyes. How did he change to become this bitter person? She clutched her teacup as these thoughts kept repeating. She looked into the mirror once again and repeated the question to herself “What would I do?”

A long sigh escaped her lips as she moved a little to change the music, and her eyes moved to the window which overlooked her garden with pretty flowers. She then realized her mistakes and how she had given in with so many expectations which led to this. She then made a list of her analysis which she wished to share with others.

1 Respect each other's space. 

2 Accept changes in life as everyone changes with time.

3 Never let go of your dreams and if you do never hold regrets as no one asked you to let go. The choice was yours, no matter what. 

4 Step away as roles change. 

5 Priorities change with time. 

She wished to write more, but she realized that this was only her perception of her situation and she looked at the mirror and asked the question to the one looking back at her (that's you) 

“ What would you do in a situation like this”?